Synopsis: Bruce Lee working for the British government infiltrates drug smuggling madman Hans fortress island to take part in a martial arts tournament. Once there Lee hurts a few people - badly.

Why top 100?: I'll tell you why it's top 100 - cause it's Enter The Dragon bitch! Robert Clouse assembles perhaps the all time greatest cult film cast in this who's who of ass kicking 70's lunatics. We have Bruce Lee in his prime (right before his untimely death) pulling out his Jeet Kune Do in screaming, contorting, bone breaking fashion. This is top ten cult shit in its own right. But hold up a minute and let your mind comprehend this supporting line up: Jim "Black Belt Jones" Kelly, John "Tenebre" Saxon, Angela "Lady Kung Fu" Mao Ying and Yang "The Chinese Hercules" Sze in one flick! Classic scenes aplenty include Lee busting out the non chaku's and going to town on about a hundred foes, Lee's brutal fight against Oharra that sees him finish the job by crushing his throat with his heel, the ridiculous skills of Mao Ling gracefully flying about before slamming a hunk of glass in her belly and of course the legendary room of mirrors showdown between Lee and Hans. You can't have a classic Kung Fu flick without a colorful villain and Hans is one of the best. He's nasty as hell and, as we all know and love, he can twist on all sorts of brutal weapon hands (how much did you want to see Hans try out all of his weapon hands seen in his glass case?!). I for one can never forgive Hans for cheating against Jim Kelly - the bastard! Bruce Lee's hands and feet were so fast that his movements could not be captured at 24 frames per second - it was all a blur! Perhaps the greatest legend about a film filled with them are the stories about extras trying to test Lee's abilities during filming. Supposedly a number of extras wanted to be the one to knock Lee out during one of the many group fight scenes - Lee was so skilled that when an extra took a real shot at him he would avoid it and return the favor by knocking the fucker out. Amidst all the chaos he would shorten his blows in stuntman fashion against extras who meant him no harm - all during the massive chaotic battles!

Moment you won't soon forget: Why bother? The whole film is nonstop kung fu chaos.

9) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, Dir. Tobe Hooper)

Synopsis: A group of teens are terrorized by a clan of sadistic cannibals. Sounds like a ton of horror flicks but we all know the real deal.

Why top 100?: An insane booker at the San Francisco Empire Theater would catapult a nasty little low budget horror flick into national headlines. As the second feature of a double header featuring the Walter Matthau crime flick The Taking of the Pelham One, Two, Three - An unknown little film entitled The Texas Chainsaw Massacre soon dropped like a fucking hydrogen bomb on the psyche of an unsuspecting audience of Philistines including traumatized tots in attendance. There was vomiting - there was screaming - there was fainting - punches were thrown and the threats of lawsuits catapulted Hooper into the limelight and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre into cinema history. Many have tried and all have failed to concoct this magical potion of horror and severe black comedy. This exhausting, nasty little film in which the stink and evil seems to slip off the screen and plop in your lap is the result of a low budget shoot where extreme heat and ridiculous suffering on the part of the actors and crew permeates every frame. How can a multi million dollar film with its actors cooling off in their trailers safely before each take possibly capture true horror? It can't. When Marilyn Burns screams they are screams of actual pain - when Gunner Hanson hits that corner with chainsaw a - blazing it's because that shit is fired up, not some mere prop. And the next time you proudly exclaim The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as one of the greatest films in all the history of cinema only to be laughed at by some mongoloid that claims it to be a "slasher" film for adolescents make sure to tell them it's in The Museum of Modern Art's permanent collection - you filthy enemy of the cinema and all its possibilities.

Moment you won't soon forget: So many huge moments and great lines we can fill up a book. Our personal favorite - the quite, surprising moment after Leatherface slaughters his first guests. In a panic he runs to the window to see if anyone else will be invading the sanctuary of his family home. Amazingly you may actually feel a tinge of pity for the hulking retard when he plops down exhausted on a seat and puts his hands to his face as if to say "what the hell is going on, why are these people here?" It's an amazing moment.

8) The Warriors (1979, Dir. Walter Hill)

Synopsis: A gang named The Warriors is framed for murder and must make their way from the Bronx to Coney Island Brooklyn while battling hundreds of angry thugs.

Why top 100?: Walter Hill's colorfully insane The Warriors had politicians and citizens shitting in their pants before the film even hit the silver screen. The original poster featuring hundreds of gang members looking directly into your eyes proclaims that the gangs were "100,000 strong and outnumbered the cops five to one. They could run New York City." Not exactly the kind of poster you wanted to see waiting for your subway late at night in crime riddles New York City circa 1979. Soon there was talk in cities across the nation of banning The Warriors and Paramount quickly discontinued their original advertising campaign. All the hoopla must have seemed damn silly after Hill's wonderfully cartoonish film actually played - it's the equivalent of a demented Bugs Bunny, Warner Brothers cartoon. With only one onscreen death and nearly bloodless violence - wherein gang members can take a severe beating then simply stand up and scurry away - The Warriors is pure silly wonderful escapism. Exciting, colorful and wholly insane Hill had crafted easily one of the most rewatchable films ever made - if the candy colored universe of New York and the insane gang designs aren't enough for ya - Hill throws in the always sickening and dependable David Patrick Kelly to keep you mesmerized through most of the film.

Moment you won't soon forget: David Patrick Kelly and the immortal"WWaarriioorrss come out and PPLLAAYYEEAA." Your brain is forever altered by the pitch of that fuckers voice. Two words for you - BASEBALL FURIES!!!!  

7) Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964, Dir. Herschell Gordon Lewis)

Synopsis: The South's gonna rise again as a bunch of hillbilly ghosts seek their revenge on Northerners in a carnival like celebration.

Why top 100?: The Godfather of Gore got together a couple of bucks - grabbed his 16mm camera (but forgot his light meter!) - and descended on the good state of Florida to create what is - no doubt - one of the all time great drive-in/cult flicks. I can watch 2000 Maniacs! everyday the rest of my life and never be bored - can't say that about Citizen Kane! Of course we all know and love the disaster that is Blood Feast but here we have Lewis' self proclaimed "magnum opus" - it is easily his greatest film. I know the Avant Garde - have visited with so called Masters of Horror - am well versed in the world of the Surrealists - please tell me, has there ever been a moment in cinema so completely mad, so bizarrely disturbing, so strangely unnerving as the removal of Bea's thumb and arm by laughing, whooping, sweaty hillbillies? How is it that an obvious mannequins arm doused in absurdly bright stage blood is capable of disturbing me to such depths. What kind of nerve does this man Lewis have to film such a scene in 1964? They should be studying that scene at NYU and UCLA and if they aren't those institutions are the enemy of true cinema. "Err students notice what Welles accomplishes through the use of deep focus photography in this impeccable example of the power mise en scene..." Fuck You - Two Thousand Maniacs! you bunch of punk bitches!!!! The trademarks of a Lewis film are all there - terrible acting, poor photography, hideous dialogue - but man there is something truly disturbing going on here that I can't put my finger on.

Moment you won't soon forget: Poor old Bea's demise which comes after a surprisingly long cat and mouse game by Lewis. We know he's going to do some sick shit and he takes his time getting there - pure genius.

6) Pink Flamingos (1973, Dir. John Waters)

Synopsis: Babs, "The Filthiest Person in the World," must defend her title against challenger Connie Marble.

Why top 100?: John Waters 12 thousand dollar gem filmed in his beloved Baltimore promised a "trip through decadence" and delivered - perhaps too well. Where does one begin with a film in which every scene is filled with jaw dropping ugliness? Waters cuts to the chase with a brilliant premise. The extremely obese Divine plays Bab's the acknowledged "Filthiest Person in the World." But alas! - in one of the funniest scenes in over one hundred years of cinema - a package arrives for Babs. Upon opening it to discover a human turd she exclaims, "Someone has sent me a bowel movement." Cinema would never be the same. Along with the turd comes a challenge for Ms. Connie Marble believes herself to be the filthiest - and she's got reason to believe. Among her endeavors is her kidnapping business where girls are locked up and impregnated by her butler which produces lovely little tots for sale and my favorite - selling heroin to elementary school children!! Soon the battle begins and it's the stuff of legend. We have Divine strolling into a well kept neighborhood to shit on a manicured lawn - We have Edie and Crackers fucking with a dying chicken between the - We have the mind blowing scene where Divine licks the Marbles' house before sucking off her son (wherein he shouts out the immortal line - "Do my balls mama") and of course the Divine shit eating finale. Can't even imagine a film like this opening in any theater in this day and age - it would be impossible. This Midnight favorite would gross millions of dollars while gleefully grossing out those lunatic enough to seek it out. Here's one we don't have to worry about being remade.

Moment you won't soon forget: You can live to be a hundred, slobbering at the mouth with shit in your draws - and never - I mean NEVER! - forget one egg eating Edith Massey.

5) Suspiria (1977, Dir. Dario Argento)

Synopsis: An American ballet student travels to Germany to attend a famed dance academy run by witches.

Why top 100?: Dario Argento's candy colored, hallucinatory, damned near avant garde fairy tale for adults remains a mesmerizing gem after twenty five plus years. There is simply nothing like it before or since. When Suzy Banyon leaves the airport to enter an apocalyptic world of blood reds and deep blues accompanied by the most frenzied soundtrack in cinema you know you are watching the work of some mad genius. Argento wanted to capture the look and feel of Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and with the last remaining spools of Technicolor and the mastery of cinematographer Luciano Tovoli they achieved a one of a kind look. Anchor Bay did a nice job with their DVD transfer but nothing compares to seeing Suspiria on the big screen with its incredible color saturation and ear piercing Goblin score. Jessica Harper remains the most luminous "woman in peril" in the annuals of cinema - her huge head and eyes almost cartoonish. The sets, the costumes, the plethora of demented camera angles and tracking shots, the otherworldliness of the dubbed soundtrack converge in a truly magical film. Of course Argento would follow up with the even more abstract Inferno - but for our money this is still the Argento film to beat. The first fifteen or so minutes of Suspiria remains my favorite moments in cinema. As Argento stated, "The whole point was to start Suspiria in the way a normal horror film would usually finish. That kept the audience on edge wondering what could possible come next. My strongest memory of Suspiria is attending the premiere in Rome with people running screaming from the cinema. It was an incredible moment for me, I'll never forget it." It's an unforgettable experience the first time you view the confusion and panic his technique achieves as we abruptly leave one character to follow another to the accompaniment of human wails and tribal drum beats. It's one of the few times I felt endangered in a theater. The remainder of the film is inevitably a bit of a letdown after this frantic beginning but this here is Dario Argento - a man at his best when he's fucking with movie conventions and your head.  

Moment you won't soon forget: The opening and the classic "Suzy...do you believe in wwiittcchheessssss" fade that leads to one of the great nail biting cat and mouse scenes on film.

4) The Wicker Man (1973, Dir. Robin Hardy)

Synopsis: A Scottish policeman investigates the disappearance of a young girl on a bizarre island alive with Pagan shenanigans.

Why top 100?: An unclassifiable film with one of the great stomach punching endings in cinema. The bastards actually remade the fucking Wicker Man. Remaking Psycho hurt - remaking the Texas Chainsaw Massacre hurt - remaking The Wicker Man is damned near criminal. The one and only Robin Hardy Wicker Man is one of the great fuck with you films ever made. Part religious parable, part horror flick, part murder mystery and part freakin' musical the film slightly silly atmosphere slowly turns into a massively creepy mindfuck that hammers at your subconscious. You investigate the crime scenes with the great Edward Woodward, you goof at the seemingly silly Christopher Lee, you gaze at the voluptuous Britt Eckland then - like the fool Sergeant Howie unwittingly becomes you pay the price along with him - it's a truly transcending experience. The great film critic Robin Hardy sums it up best: "Maybe it's not too big a connection to make between the final scene of The The Wicker Man and the Nuremberg rallies in Germany. It was no accident that Hitler brought back all those pagan feasts in his rise to power ... The idea that it is necessary to sacrifice people for the good of other people is never too far from the human consciousness at any one time. You can't simple say it was something people did all those years ago and has nothing to do with us today." Revisiting The Wicker Man along with my rereading of James Shelby Downard had my paranoid mind thinking about September 11th if ya know what I mean.

Moment you won't soon forget: The ending of course - the first time you see it that shit sinks itself into your brain for weeks.

3) Aguirre, The Wrath of God (1972, Dir. Werner Herzog)

Synopsis: Aguirre, a mad Spanish conquistador, and his crew seek El Dorado in a deadly Peruvian rain forest.

Why top 100?: Werner Herzog and Klaus Kinski - to cinephiles worldwide there is little else that needs to be said. To the uninitiated be prepared for one of the most grueling, unsparing journeys ever put on celluloid. The conquistadors ssslllooowwwyyy make their way through the brutal landscape and you suffer with them every step of the way. There is madness in the ranks and death behind every bend. Klaus Kinski - the master - gives his most tortured performance as the snake like Aguirre. He is a man of few words but his bulging eyes and contorted features reveal a man capable of extremes. You can feel the years of Kinski's life draining from him as he acts - it's like watching a filmed nervous breakdown. Has any actor ever given more to a role? The great documentary My Best Fiend features the filming of this epic and it is the stuff of legend. Indians offering to kill Kinski for Herzog - Kinski going all out and injuring many extras during the battle scenes - and of course the infamous Herzog holding a gun to Kinski's head during the final scenes. Kinski claims he had the gun but it matters little - here is an extreme film by two men more dedicated to the art of cinema than any hundred American directors working today. I'll stop here for anyone who hasn't been fortunate enough to see Herzog's masterpiece. One of the greats.  

Moment you won't soon forget: The most realistic beheading captured on film (has anyone confirmed that actor as still being alive!?!). The final haunting scene.

2) El Topo (1971, Dir. Alejandro Jodorowsky)

Synopsis: A mysterious gunman clad in black crosses a mystical landscape where he does battle with a series of bizarre "Masters."

Why top 100?: El Topo was the first real Midnight Movie. Opening at the Elgin theater in December of 1970, it mesmerized a variety of freaks (including fans John Lennon and Dennis Hopper) and played for six months. Due to legal troubles between Jodorowsky and the films owner El Topo had disappeared - only available through an old Japanese Laserdisc and the zillions of bootleg video copies of that disc (chances are you've seen this version with that unique Japanese touch of blurring genitalia). For those who have sought it out it remains one of the most jaw dropping displays of pretention and sheer insanity. Jodorowsky talking of his film has stated: "If you are great El Topo is great. If you are limited El Topo is limited." That's some balls there! Jodorowsky is one of the great eccentric characters - just google his interviews, there fucking great! - and his surreal films are truly unique (his follow up to El Topo - The Holy Mountain - is even more insane. For historical purposes we chose El Topo). El Topo seems to come from another dimension - a spaghetti western that goes off the deep end. Once seen who could ever forget the "Master" gunslinger with arms but no legs strapped on another gunslinger with legs but no arms! The game of Russian roulette that leads to a small tot taking a shot to the noggin. The sheer otherworldliness of the mountain freaks descending on the town to be blown to smithereens. One viewing of El Topo will result in images being burnt into your brain for the rest of your years - the images are that powerful. A frustrating, nervy, wonder of a film. Jodorowsky needs to be funded - we need more films from this guy before we lose one of the last great visionaries.

Moment you won't soon forget: The whole film - how is this guy capable of shooting a film that seems to come from another world. He's using a camera to take his shots - edits his work just like everyone else - so how do his films achieve such an eerie/ panic attack inducing feel?

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