Fred Olen Ray's
silly but entertaining Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) is a
Debased guilty pleasure. Starring "Scream Queens" Linnea
Quigley and Michelle Bauer (using the screen name Michelle McLennan)
and Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen - it's terribly shot,
scored and edited but somewhat witty and with enough flesh and
a quick enough pace to make it one of the best "Z" movies
of the era.
A Jay Richardson
plays an old school, film noir "Private Dick" (an obvious
ongoing joke throughout the film) looking for a young runaway.
Richardson is a pretty damn good actor as far as these films go
and his performance elevates the material (I've seen him in a
couple of 80's cheapies but can't recall the titles), he chain
smokes, wears a fedora - basically does the whole classic film
noir detective.
While the detective
searches for the runaway we are treated to the lovely Michelle
Bauer disrobing and boogying naked before butchering her trick
with a chainsaw. She covers her Elvis Presley painting with plastic,
and fastens a hair net before doing him in. The violence in Hollywood
Chainsaw Hookers consists of a beautiful girl pointing her chainsaw
at the camera while blood and rubber body parts are thrown at
her (the one actual graphic scene of violence features a chainsaw
entering Michelle Bauer's chest).
In
another set piece a hooker bashes a picture taking pervert with a baseball
bat before chainsawing him up in the bathtub. For some reason Gunner
Hansen stands in the dark watching his hookers kill before nodding his
head and leaving. We come to find out that a cult of chainsaw worshippers
are killing people for some reason or another. Nothing is really explained
and who cares - before you can complain Linnea Quigley is dancing topless
at a cheesy strip bar!
A big twist in
Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is that the Linnea Quigley character
has befriended the chainsaw cult and plans on burning their temple
down as revenge for ruining her family. She joins the detective
and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Let's get to the highlights!
Linnea Quigley
wearing only a thong and some body paint doing a "Virgin
Dance of the Double Chainsaws," is great fun. Linnea looks
as if she weighs about fifty pounds as she tries to swing two
rather large chainsaws around in a sexy manner. Another highlight
is Linnea's chainsaw duel with Michelle Bauer. A more incompetent
scene would be hard to find as Linnea and Michelle slooooowly
clang their 'saws together. A little editing would have helped
this disaster of a battle but Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer
have never looked better, if they want to walk around slowly banging
together chainsaws while half naked - we're there.
If you're into
the great cheap cinema of the eighties than Hollywood Chainsaw
Hookers will give you an honest hour and a half of entertainment.
A lot of nudity, silly violence, Gunner Hansen bumbling around,
and Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer at the top of their form
make this one worth checking out.
Fred Olen Ray's
silly but entertaining Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) is a
Debased guilty pleasure. Starring "Scream Queens" Linnea
Quigley and Michelle Bauer (using the screen name Michelle McLennan)
and Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen - it's terribly shot,
scored and edited but somewhat witty and with enough flesh and
a quick enough pace to make it one of the best "Z" movies
of the era.
